Saturday, January 31, 2009

Shoppin' Real Local.

A beautiful, mass-produced hipster bike is yours for only $880.00. Or, you can come on down to the Bike Barn, where Uncle Grandpa will hook ye up, all nice and proper-like, for peenys on the dollar. Uncle Grandpa also has all the tools you'd be needin' to work on yer handmade piece o'... I mean hillbilly-hipster bike! Some of Uncle Grandpa's latest creations include tributes to towns like Wacco Texas, Hogsnout Alabama, and his latest, Oroville California. U.G. says that the Oroville bike is, "nearly perfeck 'cept fer some orange -peelin' on the the top-bar!" Nothing a little work with the "finishin' hammer" won't help!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Indoor CycloCross

This weekend begins the gymnastic cyclocross series of Shasta County. Dismounts are a little different in this "Artistic" version of CX. As you can see the outfits are also very special. If you are a "special" kind o' guy, who just doesn't feel that "regular" cyclocross gave him the opportunity to shine, please come out and join us! P.S. No insensitive BULLHORNS are ever permitted here!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Stable of Mystery

Then, after my scare up at Mary Lake , I get back to The Cycle Barn, aka Carpet Mart, aka Best of The North State 2008, to find this hiding in the dark, stable of mystery, out back.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Vicious little Sucker!

I'm still not sure what the heck I ran into out in the Mary Lake area the other morning. I was only able to snap this one picture before it ran me outta there. The beast was only about the size of a medium-sized dog and it snorted and growled like some kind o' freakin' Tasmanian Devil

Monday, January 26, 2009

Saved by Burt!

For years now I have been extra careful of poison oak in January because it is without leaves now, but is starting to bud. I picked up this BB Rescue Pack and am using the Poison Oak soap, much to my delight, it works. So do all of the other products.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Speaking of Trouble

Here is how to destroy a multi-thousand dollar wheel in just a few seconds. Watch the big freight train drift when the wheel first blows!

Double Trouble!

Here's a scary image/thought.
Tandems on the board track. I just cannot imagine all the trouble two riders on a fixed gear bicycle with their legs locked on the pedals could get into! Brakes... we don't need no stinking brakes!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Republic of Uzbekistan

A recent failed launch into space by Uzbekistan scientists left hundreds of pounds of unexploded dynamite and one very confused Equinaut, hanging in a state of eminent danger. The launch team was unable to free the donkey and were forced to push the auto-destruct button (see exploding whale video!)

Monday, January 19, 2009

Bitter? No! Soured? Perhaps.

As they say in show biz, The show must go on! And by Gaw Son, Them shows needs to be run by MEN with BULLHORNS! I'm beginning to believe that I simply cannot handle the truth, although I always have found Time Trialing (aka race of truth) to be one of my favorite disciplines. We had a little alternate award ceremony for the finale of the 3rd. full CX series and would like to present the SOUR PUSS Award to a very special man who needs no introduction. Thanks for everything Bren, my Big Boy BMX bike is on order for next years races!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Say, "Where's Arnie!"

Senor SanFranCup and I rode all over the world on Saturday and had a blast! Here I am doing my best imitation of Arnie from, What's eating Gilbert Grape. I'm just glad that I have such a good friend as Gilbert... I mean SanFranCup to keep me safe out There. "I'm going back up there Gilbert!"

Friday, January 16, 2009

Friday Video!

I like the music a lot!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Bust out the old kit!

Desperate times demand desperate measures. In a nutshell my CX season has been... abysmal! To recap, Race One; Enterprise, I got a brilliant start despite the much loathed Le Mans start and was rollin' the Bianchi to a top ten finish when I popped my left hamstring on the last run up an eighth of a mile from the finish. Race Two; Boom Town, sidelined with hamstring still healing, I was semi-amused to see BMX on a cyclocross course, a bit of a flow control that one! Race Three; Anderson Park, I returned to race one of my favorite venues only to get absolutely hosed on the first turn as 5 little brats on 20" bikes rode right over my front wheel. Then of course there was the 2 storey high rock pile/quad cramp/flat tire, dead last finish! Race Four; Turtle Bay, I rode my one-speed 69'r and had the ride of my life! I rode well within my physical ability and actually had a bit o' "in the trenches" banter with Paul from Chico as we raced. Unfortunately, I made the strategic error of not actually entering at the sign-in booth and since there was already a number on my jersey from last year (Hey, it was in the far recesses of the bus!)I got busted and DQ'd! My plan for the finale is to race under a fictitious name, incognito. I'll see you there, but you may not recognize me!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

See you at the smoke bomb!

When I was but a wee lad, my dad raced motorcycles out on the Mojave desert. Called Hare and Hound scrambles, the races started en masse by lining up, sometimes 200 abreast, and then blasting off across the desert, all heading for "The Smoke Bomb." A large bon fire with a couple of tires thrown on it, the smoke was usually a mile or two from the start. Once there the riders would funnel down to find the course proper, a large loop that brought the riders back around through the start area about every 30- 45 minutes. Of course after about 10 years worth of desert scrambles, someone finally realized what an environmental disaster the sport was and started shutting it down. But I still think that some form of the Hare and Hound could be raced, on bicycles.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Are we in Tahoe?

The bicycle posted here is only here to lure you into reading this and to demonstrate my impeccable taste in bicycle imagery! I rode my 1991 Stump-Comp MTB with a million other folks, who all hit the Upper Ditch Trail trying to find the way to Chemise Peak. We worked our way up to the gap and then lost the trail. I bailed off the east side of the ridge and came out on Flanigan road which took me back to Lake Blvd. I am here to tell you that who ever is responsible for this boom in world class trail building these last few years should be given the keys to the city! Just FABULOUS!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Cyclocross action figures.

I just received my first in a series, European, cyclocross action figures. This one is of famous race promoter Bren Schneller. He came with a mini-bullhorn and riding crop. Cigarette included!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!

Ya know, I am constantly asked Dude, What is the key to your longevity as a hopelessly optimistic, get-in-there-and-ignore-the-horror, it's-gonna-be-a-great-day-is-that-a-syndrome-lifestyle icon!? Well, this helps!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Universe in my Bike Frame.

Funny that of the hundreds of frame builders in this country, no one is forging their own steel. Well I guess as Carl Sagan once said, "If you truly wish to bake apple pie from scratch... you must first invent, the universe!

Another Cycling Scandal!

Shame and disgrace are the words most likely to be used while recounting this year's Turtle Bay cyclocross. So far, the Captain of Redding One-Speed is the only member who was D.Q.'d, but it is believed that others are involved in the registration scam from which this resulted. Also, upon searching "The Bus", numerous banned substances and articles were discovered. "It is a sad day for cyclocross!" commented Foghat Fred, Redding's premier homeless cycle guy. "I sure have been enjoyin' the heck outta them hammiggers!" What?

Friday, January 2, 2009

Rocket Science.

A bit o' New Year's Day rocket testing after our miserable failure at midnight, the previous evening. To our beautiful neighbors who's roof we caught on fire... we sincerely apologize!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

All is Quiet...

...On New Year's Day! Have a great '09, The man is comin' to town!