Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Howdy Pardner!

I love riding all alone out there on my bicycle. Setting my own pace, taking my own routes, thinking my own thoughts. It is true that sometimes my "Head-Movies" tend to take me a bit too far out there. Abruptly screaming things out, oblivious to elderly couples staring at me, I roll on by. Thankfully, I seem to retain enough control of the bicycle to regularly finish up unharmed and happy. Last week I held an imaginary Zen koan session in my head wherein the master asked, "What is the meaning of bird?" Then my inner Bronx-Jew voice yelled out "Bird... What Bird?" The calm Zen voice replied "The bird of the mind!" and the Jew yelled out, "GO TO HELL!" Unwittingly, I burst into a huge, straggle-toothed, guffaw, only to then realize that I was within clear earshot of a small group of team riders from a local Pharmacy. They had stopped to help a mate out with a flat. I instantly tried to feign a throat clearing but there was no hiding the truth... pure insanity! I rolled by and tried to deliver, in my best Marlboro-Man voice, "HOWDY!" but it came out weird, hung there like a rancid fart and then crashed to the ground. The real insanity then ensued when for no reason at all I yelled out, "What is the meaning of bird?" Someone yelled back "F#@% YOU!" Which I thought was actually quite inspired.

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