Strange encounter with an ancient cougar!

My little Eve ( mother of our teenager/adults...teendults?) and I were at Safeway the other day when we had one of those rare, chance encounters with that remarkable creature known as the human cougar. You know, the 40 + woman who is still operating at a purely sexual level who's only real objective is to get in the check out with the "Hot" guy who'll play along with her (who's actually younger than her son!). YIKES! We had the privilege of observing an extremely rare, Octogenarian version of the cougar. Replete with the garish, fire engine red dyed hair, the orange rouged cheeks, twin penciled-on eyebrows that resembled a pair of St Louis, Gateway arches and of course the perfunctory "Bit o' cleavage" low cut top. To consummate the package, she was either completely 'toons or (more likely) senile. For you see, when I discreetly signaled Eve's attention to the phenomenal-freak show-twleve'o'clock-in front of the deli case, she spun on her heels and glowered at us, then mumbled something foul. We both responded with beaming smiles and hearty waves to which she then grabbed an innocent, woman by-standers arm and began pointing us out and telling the bewildered lady God knows what about the menace that was us! As we left the store still smiling, I casually mentioned to Eve. Honey, this is why we live in the North State. The wildlife and closeness to nature is truly second to none!