We finally managed to wrestle Massage Therapist Johan Von Faustus away from his 20 year hiatus... actually, technically, he's back from prison. Uncle Faustus (as he likes to be called) brings a legendary pair of hands, so strong that he can juice apples with them, to the team's physical therapy table. He has also been known to crush bullhorns into dunce hats and then smash them on to the heads of race promoters. He will be on team probation for the first 2 seasons, just to make sure he's a good fit.
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