Ascent to the Death Zone!

I decided to ride, "TOP OF THE WORLD" last night for the first time in months. Believing that a summer's worth of riding would allow me to make a molehill out of what I used to think was a mountain, I decided I would go in from Mary Lake, up the "Jumps" trail on the north side so that it would at least be challenging. As I rode through nice middle class neighborhoods, I saw people who I knew were watching me and I suspected that they were thinking, Wow, look at that beautiful peddle stroke, I didn't know that John Tomac retired to Redding! Yes my friends, I was making my way to the trails, feelin' good and lookin' great! Well to make a long, HELLISH climb short, let me just tell you that when I finally hit the last pitch to the top, I had a face that was frozen into some kinda hyper-death -sneer- smiling-killer-nightmare-clown that would have put Jim Carey to shame. MY GOD!!! That hurt! Plus some how due to some sort of perfect, Evil atmospheric conditions at 5 p.m. last nite, the Top of the World was completely without a breath of wind of a breeze and fargin' bakin' hot! If by some strange coincidence anyone who saw John Tomac ride by their house only to return an hour later looking like a fat, red-faced, old guy... that was me.