Don't forget to eat your Black Eyed Peas!

A wonderful New Year's tradition 'round yere... as well as millions of other California/Okie homesteads is a big ol' messa Black Eyed Peas! I buy the fresh one's at Raley's or Safeway. Rinse them very well, then blanche them in boiling water. Now you have a wonderful start to a virtually limitless number of healthy dishes. Ma allus cooked 'em up with a few scraps o' white bacon, but se'ens how I went Kosher back in the 70's (Damn those Hassidic Hippies!) I caint eat 'em that aways enna more. Happy New Year!!! Be Safe! Peace out, Shalom!

More Deep Thoughts

I think it would be a really good idea to sentence convicts to breaking large rocks into usable gravels and landscape size pieces, just like in the old days! What could possibly happen by putting nine pound hammers and softball size pieces of granite in murderers' hands?

The Hippo sings tonight!

So by now y'all have heard about the dang old hippopotamus communication system. What's that, you say it's news to you? Well check this out! Hippos make sounds in both air and under water, and, with their heads in an amphibious position (eyes and nostril above the water but mouth and throat below), are able to transmit sounds in both media simultaneously. The whale, as we all know, is a mammal. Mammals (as a whole) did not evolve in water. At one time or another the ancestors of the whale lived on land, probably much like the dang ol' hippo. Give it a couple o' 10 million years and who knows where ol' hippo gonna be. I'm thinkin' Planet of the Hippos?

Happy New Year 1987

I got my first "real" Mt. bike in 1986 for my birthday. A beautiful Skyway Sherpa Scout. I rode it with the Gang (chain that is) on many a Klickapudi, Boulder Creek and South Fork mile. As the year grew long, someone asked if I was gonna ride the New Year's Day, "Eye Opener" with John Stein. I had not heard of it so I got the details. Crack o' dawn, Jones Valley boat ramp, rain, sleet, snow... we ride. I shook my head in disbelief as I arrived at the parking lot in the pitch black night of that 6:30 A.M., January First hang over. I had only slept about 3 hours. A small snow was falling. I had been duped! I imagined them all snug and warm in their beds, laughing their asses off at me. I stood there blowing smoke rings, hopping around in a futile attempt to get warm when suddenly, I heard the sound of an approaching vehicle. It was Mike McHenry. He jumped out of his bus and yelled at the top of his lungs, "Happy New Year!" Soon another vehicle arrived, then another. Then Donnie Ferguson arrived, on his bicycle, having ridden in from Central Valley. Within 15 Min's. the parking lot was cluttered with cars and bikes and lots of people. Around 7 A.M. John gave a little welcome speech to approximately 30 riders and then we were off on the barely discernible, but lightening, trail. What happy memories!

Blown like Hindenburg.

Chrikee! I got home after CX yesterday and was like some kind of zombie death camp ghost. I really wonder what those A-Class studs feel like later in the day. I felt like all I could do was sit there slack jawed, staring at nothing, like I could not uncross my eyes. As a survivor of a life style that was on par with that of Ozzy Osbourne's (15 years ago) I honestly can say that if I had known that physical exertion could induce these kind of sensations... I'd a probably been one fit dope fiend! What the Hell is Randy putting in my Garden Burgers?

I've gotta have more Hominy!

After the barrage of comments on Meat Eating Robot's article about hominy----wait a minute, it wasn't all about hominy, oh well irrespective of that, I can't help but feel that we could all use a little more hominy "Corn-sideration", sorry Phil! (God I love compound sentences!) From recipes to bad puns (hominy roads must a man walk down...) Hominy, that rich source of moderately complex carbohydrate, deserves a place in our beloved game of Cyclo-Cross, right along side the venerated Cow Bell. Perhaps, someday, throngs of hyper enthusiastic, cow bell ringing CX aficionados will simultaneously shower their beloved gladiators with hominy as they pass by and the heads of those who ascend to the lofty podiums will be festooned not with wreathes of Laurels but with rings of hominy!

Solstice Cross A.K.A. Cyclo-Solstice

I am here to tell y'all about the wonder and joy that is known as Turtle Bay East. You may think you've been there and done that but if you have not ridden it since last week end you are in for a big surprise! There is a new geo/aquatic feature there, a bloody LAKE! I hit that baby at top speed, hydro planed out about 15 feet and sank to the axles. Which made the rest of my hour practice out there last night around 4 P.M. extra challenging. But by Gaw, my thermos fulla Chai/Rice Dream/Honey so hot it'll singe your tonsils was Fine!

Fish out of water

So tonight we are going to Cattlemen's steakhouse for the company Christmas dinner. My only "good" clothes are articles of cycle gear. If you're also there tonight, be on the look out for a guy in a hot pink and charcoal Lycra skin suit. I may wear my bullet helmet to complete the ensemble. Does Cattlemen's have much of a vegan menu?

The Running of the Bulls

So I Re-conned the Enterprise CX area and am definitely not taking my little city/cross bike, one speeder. I want gears and grouser tires. I want rain and mud. I want a driving wind that'll scare the well diggers of acidosia. I do not wish to be owned for Christmas. I will drink off my magic potion and transform into that troglodytic aberration I call Hardwick and hammer me noggin' off. Coincidently, the preceding paragraph can be sung to the tune of "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine.

The Yaqui Soldiers are coming!

Picture yourself with a Southern fried turkey, with Hamburger gravy and kidney steak pie! Actually Sir, we're hoping you may offer something for the Kosher Vegan here. Imagine a web blog so chock fulla meaty richness, yet is actually digestible. A blog that is nourishing and enlightening. One that doesn't try to run the show, one that let's you get off the pony when your brain's butt gets sore. You mean to tell me those soldiers are powered by beans and rice? That's exactly what "we" are saying Mr. Seaweed and in the future "we" trust that such a travesty will not occur again! Now return to your post and resume your sun staring.

Thursday Night Cross

I was back at Turtle Bay East last night (afternoon) for another gorgeous session of CX practise. Hard to believe but on the last of my six laps , I got a flat. It was the first time I've flatted there this year. Let me rephrase that. It is the first time my slime tubes could not heal themselves adequately to enable me to continue riding. I have at least 400 goathead stingers in my tires. I just leave them alone, don't pull 'em, and the slime takes care of the rest. I'll try the old pump it up to 60 psi and bounce the wheel like a basketball trick. We'll see! Crikee! There was a little hawk down there last night that I just kept flushing out of the trees over and over. I'd see him on the north end and then on the south end, over and over. Cool!

Don't barf into the wind!

So I talked Randy at Bikes Etc. into racing his beautiful CoMotion tandem bike at the Anderson Park cyclocross. We set the bike up Friday night, took a one mile road ride on it Saturday and raced it on Sunday. I am amazed at how nice our barrier crossings were and how well we worked together. Randy was killing me in the sections that we decided to just run and he told me to chill a bit during parts of the ride. All and all I can see how with some work a tandem team could really do quite well. Just be sure that the captain doesn't barf while you're at speed!

Smashing, Bashing and Smooth

So here I am, one race into the new cyclo-cross season and my volumes of rich, sighing commentary are but wistful fragments of incomplete thoughts and ill conceived false starts. I will share only a very brief observation from Race 1, Elite class. Steve Tam is a flippin' Maestro at this game! I sat and watched him come through the rocky section down by the river (with the annoying little run up) and all I can say is Smooth Baby! Smooth! Compared to me out there, like some kind of Cave Man clubbing, clawing and grunting out there.

Crystaline Structures

The delicate crystaline structures are suspended high above the brain pan. In a flash I realized that my wish to be chef for a day was a purely ego driven fiasco, the results of which I would likely