BIKE SWAP SUNDAY!

The floors are swept, the chili is made. The weather is cool and the deals are hot! It's Swap Meet Time again! Come on down, 'round noon and swap stuff! Even if it's just stories about your ride out at the Lemurian Bicycle Race yesterday, My hat is off to those riders (300?) who participated, I have been forced to retire from the big races but still get out to spectate. In 1992, I was racing the Lemurian out in the Shasta Dam area when my darned ol' Tourette's kicked in and impulsed me to take a wrong turn and just keep riding. Further and further, away from the course, into the night I rode cursing and screaming. They finally found me on Tuesday out near Willow Creek, looking like some kind of a wild man, eating days old corn dogs out of a dumpster behind a Seven Eleven.

Formula One Tech.

From The How-To Collection!

Face Time!

I rode with the Gazzigli Gang yesterday. We had a nice 30 miler that took us out to Iron Mt. Road to Keswick, Quartz Hill, Lake Blvd.,to the scenic route loop up to the dam and back. I felt strong and had a great ride. I hooked on to the back of a line of about six riders and literally felt like I was being pulled along by a rope. The hill section up to the overlook was as good as I've ever ridden it. I attribute it all to my rides with The Webbed Foot Riders Club and hope to have my Mori Warrior Tattoo finished before next February! What the F#@&!

They Kind Of Look Like This!

This past week, I spent quite a bit of time trying to dial-in my one-speed Rockhopper. I finally hit upon what just might be the perfect gear for me, a 40X19 set-up. I have been asked not to name names with regards to who helped me get this on-going project finally completed but here are likenesses of them!

Cool April Nights

"The Cruise" is really only do-able these days with the help of a bike. I like to ride over to the Hilltop/Churn Creek area right from my house. If anyone else would care to join me, call me or one of my sisters. We can get you in!

These are a few, Of My Favorite Things!

Thanks David!

The Keg-A-Nator!

Recently, I was informed that real road-bike riders don't wear hydration packs. I told my informant, I've found that when I am riding with 2 liters of water, I drink 2 liters of water. When I ride with a pint, I drink a pint. So, knowing that I drink as much water as I am carrying, I think I have found the solution to my problem. How to carry a lot of water on the bike and still look cool.

Sunday Ride in the Country.

Rode with the Road Masters yesterday, Brother Tim and I representing the Webbed Foot Riders. Between the two of us we dished out some ouch to let those guys know, we've been riding! Tim out there in his overalls and a bike that (for all intents and purposes) should have a head badge the reads John Deere! Check out my new link to Cyclo Fiend! Nice stuff.

You Go Back Jack, Do It Again.

Time to start goin' through and dustin' off your old bicycle stuff , it's swap meet time again, real soon! We will be swappin' and sellin' bicycles, bicycle parts and anything to do with the sport of cycling on APRIL 26th 2009 at Carpet Mart, 905 Locust St. Redding, Cal. Start making a list of things you need 'cause when you get there, it's easy to get caught up in the socializing, forgetting that it's more than just a great party! I'll be opening the doors around 11a.m. for traders and noon for the "HAPPENING!" Hope to see you there!

Big, Bad Shred!

I'm not sure why I find these videos so interesting!

Lots o' Fun!!!

And now, here's something I hope you'll all enjoy!

Where's my Nuclear Sub?

When I was a little boy, T.V. shows like Stingray filled my head with limitless promises of adventure and excitement in the not-so-distant future. Now here we are almost a decade into the twenty-first century and about the only technology that regularly touches my life is fully automated telemarketing recordings.

Farewell For Now, My Fine Feathered Friends!

As once boggy trails turn back to stone and sunscreen begins to perfume our rides, The Webbed Foot Riders have de-flocked for now. Every Sunday of February and March, come frozen Hell and high water, we were out there. Riding with old friends and new, 20 to 30 miles each week, averaging 6 riders, our flock probably rode through seventeen million gallons of water! I reckon them was some mighty good times! I will be at Carpet Mart on Sundays with my road bike now, leaving at 9:30 a.m. for Joe Gazzigli's office to hook up with some of the toughest over-60 riders in the state. Give it a try!

Celebrate Diversity Month!

Here is yet another reason I hope to someday travel to Mongolia! The fermented mare's milk sounds intriguing too!

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

Watch it on Versus tomorrow at 2 p.m. Brutal! I rode my one-speed Mt. Bike Wednesday evening and am coming to terms with how flippin' ridiculous the whole proposition (one-Speed MTB?) really is. Unless you are a truly gifted athlete, a system of gear selection is really your only friend in an already arduous endeavor.http://www.versus.com/nw/article/view/77886/?UserDef=true&catID=2182&tf=bob_roll.tpl

Watch Out What You Dream For!

I had a disturbing dream this morning that centered around an XTR derailleur that I found in a drawer I rarely open. In the dream I was so happy to find it because (in non-dream life... I think) I am piecing together yet another bike and I need a rear derailleur. I show the derailleur to my brother and I suddenly realize that he knows that I know that it is his, but the realization didn't occur until the very instant he saw me with it. Turmoil over who owes who a favor and terse words about who really wants it anyway (if all it is going to do is create problems) ensued. At the end of the dream I was shocked to discover that I had thick, woolly dread-locks about shoulder length and I was having trouble hearing through the thick insulation they provided.

Reporter Turns Ghetto In 3 Seconds

They probably do not put him out on many live reports!

April Fool Proof

I was running through some of my old Tai Chi routines the other day when it occurred to me that I am becoming a granite statue. Turning to stone is not conducive to long, contented life. Instead, should be like water which flows along path of least resistence. Eventually, water grinds stone away, tiny pieces of sand it carrys, stone from higher up the mountain. Even Flow.

Loose Canon alert!

I have been notified that the driver of the this truck is running around the Redding area terrorizing cyclists. He allegedly swooped in front of bikes and skidded to a stop. Then he sped off, smoking his massive tires and leaving the riders chocking in a cloud of diesel smoke. Please contact Allen Kost @ 226-1833 if you have had an encounter with this Knucklehead! I got cut off at a stop sign the other day by an old lady. I yelled out real loud, "Hey! I'm ridin' here!" She just looked over at me and cackled then screamed out, "Go to Hell Sponge Bob!" I was devastated.

Chamise Peak, Finally!

http://www.healthyshasta.org/maps/Keswick_Trails_09.pdf
Well the weekly Sunday Webbed Foot Riders Race... I mean ride, finally resulted in a Chamise Peak Summit. I want to thank the guys who acted as Sherpas for the the summit team, which consisted of five. But really, that would not have been possible with the full group of eleven!

Meet Duane!

Yup! That's our homeboy rollin' around Redding on a bicycle!

Spiders on Drugs...from Mars!

My good friend Little Jim suggested that I post this video of "Spiders On Drugs." I hope this is what you were referring to!

How's Everybody Else Doing?

Yester-year's cycling sensation Lance Armstrong crashed and broke his collarbone during the first stage of a race in Spain that was to be another cake-walk along the way to his "BIG RETURN!" I, personally am semi-repulsed by the sight of his haggard old catcher's-mitt face filling my T.V. screen on Sunday afternoons and wish that he would call it quits for good. I hope the other guys are O.K.

The Little Men Inside My Head

In the words of our host, Dr. Freud, I am bedeviled by little men inside my head... how I wish there were only three!

Can This Possibly Be Real?

Sunday Watershed Ride

A beautiful Sunday for a ride, seven in our group this time. We still earned our webbed foot awards, not from the rain but from creek crossings. My research in the use of plastic baggies as shoe liners is almost complete Sadly, I must report that it's not looking good for them as another one of those low-budget, must-have-in-your-pack, items. During a break for Odwalla and hydro (and some remarkably funny, impromptu comedy skits!) I removed my shoe to find my right foot as cold as the creek water I had soaked it in half an hour earlier! Reverse insulation?

So Much, So Fast!

Saturday morning rides with my brother D. always turn into veritable whirlwinds of shouted and yelled discussions that are punctuated with explosive outbursts of laughter and liberal pepperings of truly one-off points of view. It basically comes down to this. My insanity meshes well with his. One or the other of us will start in on a topic and then the flippin' cascading menus start displaying in our old and slightly askew-ed minds and it's hang on Baby, here we go again! Often, it's hours or days latter that I remember having touched on some subject that really does deserve some semi-serious consideration, without all the human-atom bomb-like responses that spring out of my slobbering Tourette's maw! Good ride Brother!

A Bit o' Spinnin'!

Getting Ready For Blazing Saddles!

And this my friends, is why they call it getting HANGED!

Groovin' to the Music... at Raleys?

Have you noticed that the in-store music at supermarkets is getting really diverse and eclectic? I am regularly getting my socks rocked off at Raleys and Safeway these days. Quite a contrast to the Muzak crap they used to play back in the early 90's when I was the manager of the Lake Blvd. Natural Food Dept. at Raleys. There were numerous factors in my deciding to leave Raleys all those years ago and honestly, that crap they played on the P.A. 24/7 was one of those factors. Last night I was there and heard The Thrills.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmZjWeXsaL0

Big Bang Is Here!

Enchanted Tiki Room

And then there were four...

Webbed-Foot Riders were in short supply despite ideal weather conditions on Sunday morning. We took a Mary Lake-Salt Creek loop and called it good. My one-speed MTB X-Bike needs some refining. I could not contact my Rock Shox Tech but if you read this, please contact me ASAP, we have some work left. Brake Tech (me) also needs to get busy! All and all we had a good time as the rain grew heavier and heavier we just kept joking and riding.

Feelin' Kind O' Steely!

I Want One!

A Bike Alone, So Far From Home...

Took a lovely little ride this afternoon. Manically screaming obscure lyrics from RUSH as I rolled along with sanfrancup, only to have him come back with even more ambiguous stuff. It was one of those rides that I felt like I could just keep going until dark. In fact, my bike is still out there sending me photos like these from somewhere out near Ono!

Release the Hounds!

By now you have no doubt heard about the epic ride that the "Sunday-at-9:30a.m.-from-CarpetMart-crew" took, but let me briefly recap our ride for you. We (six) headed for Graffiti Tunnel, up to Quartz Hill Rd. via Sulphur Creek, then worked our way out to the Hornbeck Trail. We took the Lower Ditch Trail to Walker Mine Road and then caught the Upper Ditch Trail, destination The Flanagan overpass. A nice long ride with lots of climbs, but the highlight for me was when I put Mr. SanFranCup on the point and he suddenly turned all red and took off like a bat out of Hell! To say that he rose to the occasion would be the understatement of the season. If some of these "Slower" riders ever get high-end bikes, I'll be in big trouble.

OK... so the H stands for what?

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

Let me re-word that...

The little bike we call the "Fake-sie" is rolling and it is just a lot fun! I kind of had the misguided impression that I was going to have another bike that I could actually take out for extended rides but no dice. For some reason the coaster brake feels like it is robbing some power in the form of a soft, buffered-like feeling. I planned on mocking it up to play with it and then completely disassemble and paint it but now I'm not so sure I won't just ride it ugly!

Webbed Feet Not Required?

According to the weather people, Sunday's ride from Carpet Mart 9:30 a.m. shouldn't leave us feeling like we've been on an extended arctic scuba dive. Come on down and join us for the weekly rolling circus, featuring many unsigned comedians like the one's pictured here! Tell all your friends! We have room for three-hundred thousand!

Good Friday

Well the Fake-sie bike is built and rolling! I got the rear wheel back from Randy Etc.(I laced it up, but he is the dish, tension, alignment Master!) Although it is not painted, one can readily envision it's potential as a dynamite little Hipster Bike that is a ton of fun to ride. Now, you may be wondering what the bowl of enticing looking soup depicted here is all about. Well it's your invitation to come on down for a bowl of homemade Minestrone today (around lunch-time)and while you're here, throw a leg over the bike and take her out for a spin!

Real Fenders!

I rode last night, as soon as the seventeenth flood of Noah let up a bit and thanks to "Real" fenders, I was nice and dry "Back There!" As the good Doctor pointed out in my previous entry, what good are fenders if they don't bloody cover the wheels!

Caution! Caveman at Work!

Work on my one-speed, coaster-brake-equipped, 27" wheel, "Fake-sie" bike continues in the form of endless browsing of the Internet for style ideas. Which (in the end) only serves to frighten and confuse me, for you see Your Honor... I am only a Caveman! As they say, the best laid plans of mice and men... My latest project will never have the finish of an award winning, hand-made Vanilla bike but I can dream!

Top Secret Steel Foundry.

Well the steel for my next bike frame is forged!

And Now, a Word From Dave Zabriskie.

What Would Antler Man Do?

I awoke to find yet another rainy Sunday and I got a little bummed out. But then I thought to myself, Hey, I'll bet Antler Man wouldn't let a little rain stop his training! And so my friends today I will ride with a large rack o' antlers atop my helmet in tribute to Antler Man. I'm really pretty sure I will. Wait a minute--- when's the ride?--- Yeah, I'm really pretty sure I'll do that!

Video Friday

I am not sure but, this may be the worst bicycling video of all time. According to this version of the sport of Mt. Bike riding, we need more goats, grab ass, lame punk music, food fights and rollin' and around on the ground. The real scary part is, I see no evidence of drugs or alcohol involved.

An Open Letter To My Fellow Sunday Riders.

I would like to submit an official name and logo for our Sunday morning bicycle group. It is, The Web-Footed Riders Association. Senior members Dave and Jim got caught out by the Ribbon bridge last night while on a casual mid-week ride when the latest of the torrential water-bombings began. I want to thank Dave for keeping the spirits high all the way back as we literally got soaked! I'm not sure that I would have been quite as delighted about our situation had it been only me out there!

What's that grinding sound?

Just finished reading this fascinating book that is chock-fulla tips for wet weather riding. The number one tip I received from it is to take special note of one's brake pads! Apparently decomposed granite and water form a perfect grinding compound and several of the flock of Sunday's wet riders club dissolved their brakes!

My Guitar Hero!

Tommy Emmanuel!

Warning! Electric fungi found!

What started out as a fairly typical Sunday MTB ride from Carpet Mart on Sunday morning @ 9:30 a.m. turned weird after the group rolled through a field of magic mushrooms and we "inadvertently" ended up dosing ourselves. These images dipict a sort of before and after effect that resulted from the 'Shroom fields. After the ride I went home and pretty much just listened to some old Grateful Dead albums.

We are building a religion...Cake.

When I heard the news that my especial amigo was planning a cross country bicycle trip I thought he was nuts! Then, slowly the idea started getting a hold of me like some kind of brain stem parasite. For months now I have lain awake half the night, pondering the logistics and enormity of the project. I've become obsessed with strength reports of 26" vs. 700c wheels. Tests and experiments of my own have lead me to this. I am ready to build! Does anyone have a W.W.II era pop-rivet gun?

Return of the Team Time Trial?

Testing resumed Thursday on the latest in team-time-trial headgear, high in the Sierras. Volunteer amateur cyclists were selected to run along side the Tour of California peleton and see if their draft would cause the helmet's horn-like appendages to get sucked into the wheels. A few minor crashes did occur but no one was seriously injured. Hey, this is the way we establish a data base!

Close but no Cigar!

I've always felt that Tyler Hamilton should have been a world's champion but in the game of pro-racing, everything comes down to a roll of the dice. Yesterday at the Tour of California Tyler went off the front of the pack with a small break away only to be caught only a few kilometers from the finish. Neanderthal Cavendish won the stage. Seems like the "Monster from Manx" just makes his own dice!

Silly Monkey...CX is for Kids!

Well it's Monkey Cross Season again! That magical time of year when we turn our local cyclocross venues over to the apes. Now we get to sit back and watch those knuckleheads go out there, thrash around leaping on and off their silly bicycles. Hopefully a couple of them will land awkwardly on the top tubes of their machines, then scream out in really high voices. I love watching those fools, they're so foolish! Monkeys!

Why don't ducks' feet freeze?

Seven riders of questionable mental status showed up this morning at Carpet Mart 9:30 A.m. to re-enact the Riders on the Storm ride, 1989's New Years Day Eye-Opener with John Stein. That was one cold, wet and sketchy Mo-Fo! The last I saw of Noel, Brook, Dale, and Ozzy Ausboe they were heading for the snow-line out on the Upper Ditch Trail. My ride back was straight into the teeth of the storm with yellow dish gloves stretched over my shoes in an effort to keep my pre-frost bitten feet from turning into frozen blocks of ice! Damn, that was fun!

Getting Properly Pumped!

Well the Entire Team Fuzzball entourage is ready to head down to the Tour d' Kally-Fornia. As you can see we have some mighty big shoes to fill! Now that cyclo cross weather has arrived it's time to hit the road!

Lets move on!

Oh God No! Not This!

Well folks it's worse than anyone could have ever imagined in regard to Brookly's condition. In this most recent photo, he hardly looks anything like the rough and tumble guy we all know and love. Now he looks like he'll "Tumble for Ya" for a mere bag o' Cheetos! And, with a 90 day quarantine pending for the lad with other Jaguar-men, I seriously doubt that Cheetos will be involved in the tumble at all. For now we will have to allow nature to run it course and leave our dear friend to face the many, difficult questions men in this position must.

No No Fool!

So I get a phone call in the middle of the night from the county jail asking that I come on down, they think they've got "our man!" Apparently this guy was out running absolutely amok up and down the Hilltop Drive night club alley. Laughing frighteningly loud and head- butting people indiscriminately, the cops where finally able to corral the chap in a walk-in refrigerator in the Red Lion's Kitchen. Police found the man sobbing, covered in Bleu Cheese dressing and begging for some Buffalo-wings. Just pathetic!

Taking Matters into Our Own Hands

Sheriff Nolly Fijole gathered up a posse Sunday and we eleven deputies went out lookin' fer you-know-who! Well Sir, we didn't see no Jaguars but we was ready! Sheriff Noel rode us boys 'till our horses almost dropped from under us! We really thought deckin' Brookington out in these pants would flush that bastard out! Come on out and get deputized next Sunday when we'll resume the hunt! P.S. The pants were a surprisingly good fit.

Closing in on the real JAGUAR-MAN!

Jaguar Man Captured Near Border!

Well that Bastard that bit Brookington in the ass last Wednesday was apprehended near Cottonwood yesterday. Authorities say that it turned out to just be a migrant farm worker who was "High" on Marijuana. Unfortunately, when we arrived to make a positive identification, we noticed that this Jaguar Man was in his 80's and completely toothless (the teeth you see are made of paper!). We are fairly certain that the Jaguar Man we are looking for is British as we clearly heard him scream out, "I am Jag-U-ar Mahn and I won't be trifled with!"

Attack near Satan's Tunnel!

A short Wednesday night ride with "The Boys" last night resulted in a rare sighting of Jaguar Man... or Cheetah Dude or whatever the Bleep he calls himself. I yelled out "Don't look him in the eyes boys!" but it was too late... He got a hold of Brookson and bit him in the Butt. In the mean while the cops just laughed at us and God only knows what's gonna happen to Brookson!

Stable O' Mystery

There is a local urban myth about the existence of an old barn/stable that occupied the area that Carpet Mart's building now sits on (no modern site itself) and that parts of the old stable where used in the construction of said building. Well friends, after years of preparation we are proud to announce the unveiling of a previously boarded up room in the back of the store to the public. Guided tours will be offered starting around April first. Here is a small sample of the haunting sights to behold here. I am particularly excited about the By-Tor and The Snow Dog display!

Broke Axle Mountain

Well the first installment of the Cross-Country Race Series was held yesterday out at the Swasey Recreation Area. Seven hearty riders braved mild 60's temps as the ride began up the Wintu loop switchbacks. One man in particular, who was wearing something similar to the suit depicted here, took off at a breakfast-tossing pace. Ten minutes into the climb at a space shuttle launch pace, I was left breathing like a pipe organ at full cry. I tried desperately to stay in the top 5 to the all too infrequent rolling sections. Finally we started downhill with me on the front but almost immediately I heard the sound of a thousand charging buffaloes behind me, so I ran a turn wide and four riders blew past me. I decided to wait for my buddy SanFranCup who was out there riding at a nice recreational pace. But no sooner did we hook up when something snapped in his drive train and his rear wheel began shivering in the rear triangle when he pedaled. Using a solid axle, I realized that the only thing holding it together was the axle nuts so we bailed at the Meiners Loop junction and limped back in to the truck. Due to the lack of a solid race director, the main field soon became split and confused and within an hour, the event (at Swasey) was over. See ya'll next Sunday!

Spaceball Sunday!

Shoppin' Real Local.

A beautiful, mass-produced hipster bike is yours for only $880.00. Or, you can come on down to the Bike Barn, where Uncle Grandpa will hook ye up, all nice and proper-like, for peenys on the dollar. Uncle Grandpa also has all the tools you'd be needin' to work on yer handmade piece o'... I mean hillbilly-hipster bike! Some of Uncle Grandpa's latest creations include tributes to towns like Wacco Texas, Hogsnout Alabama, and his latest, Oroville California. U.G. says that the Oroville bike is, "nearly perfeck 'cept fer some orange -peelin' on the the top-bar!" Nothing a little work with the "finishin' hammer" won't help!

Indoor CycloCross

This weekend begins the gymnastic cyclocross series of Shasta County. Dismounts are a little different in this "Artistic" version of CX. As you can see the outfits are also very special. If you are a "special" kind o' guy, who just doesn't feel that "regular" cyclocross gave him the opportunity to shine, please come out and join us! P.S. No insensitive BULLHORNS are ever permitted here!

Stable of Mystery

Then, after my scare up at Mary Lake , I get back to The Cycle Barn, aka Carpet Mart, aka Best of The North State 2008, to find this hiding in the dark, stable of mystery, out back.

Vicious little Sucker!

I'm still not sure what the heck I ran into out in the Mary Lake area the other morning. I was only able to snap this one picture before it ran me outta there. The beast was only about the size of a medium-sized dog and it snorted and growled like some kind o' freakin' Tasmanian Devil

Saved by Burt!

For years now I have been extra careful of poison oak in January because it is without leaves now, but is starting to bud. I picked up this BB Rescue Pack and am using the Poison Oak soap, much to my delight, it works. So do all of the other products.

Speaking of Trouble

Here is how to destroy a multi-thousand dollar wheel in just a few seconds. Watch the big freight train drift when the wheel first blows!

Double Trouble!

Here's a scary image/thought.
Tandems on the board track. I just cannot imagine all the trouble two riders on a fixed gear bicycle with their legs locked on the pedals could get into! Brakes... we don't need no stinking brakes!

Republic of Uzbekistan

A recent failed launch into space by Uzbekistan scientists left hundreds of pounds of unexploded dynamite and one very confused Equinaut, hanging in a state of eminent danger. The launch team was unable to free the donkey and were forced to push the auto-destruct button (see exploding whale video!)